Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
