too bad you live with your parents still
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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