He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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