i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
