So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
