yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
