somebody snuck up and got me drunk
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize