Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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