i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
