the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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