This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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