I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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