Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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