Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I am naked and annoyed.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
