Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
