I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
