I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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