we have pet lesbian snakes
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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