You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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