Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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