his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
