remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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