What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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