it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I fill condoms, not promises.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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