D3 body, D1 cock
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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