New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
