his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
it's not cheating when I paid for it
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!