Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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