Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
