I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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