in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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