I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
