If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
