I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
