Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
