fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
