it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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