wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize