i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
barbara walters just said penis...
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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