Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
