I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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