when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize