Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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