ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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