Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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