k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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