ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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