I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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