is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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