I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
