physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We are two peas in an std pod
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
