Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
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Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
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I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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