do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
