no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
