At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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