omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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