Christians are straight up FREAKS
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
