how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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