break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
